A state that will be.......

A morning no different from any other. That was how today started. I came back from the sink after making sure my teeth were gleaming white and was searching for my spectacles, when I noticed a neatly folded paper on my desk. Knowing that nothing in the world would make me fold a paper so meticulously, I was sure it didn't belong to me. Naturally, I opened it to read its contents..............

Dear Leela,

I am sure you just got back after giving those teeth of yours a nice brushing. And I am sure the only reason this piece of paper caught your attention was that it was so disciplined and white. Makes me glad that your desk is perennially cluttered with ruffled papers. And please get rid of those purple shorts you sleep in. They are horrendous. They remind me of how big a disaster I was then.

Now,  before you start questioning your sanity and read this letter further, I ask one thing of you. Please believe yourself. You will understand what I mean when you are done reading. The reason I came back all this way is to tell you a story. A story of the land which you will go on to call 'Home'. A story called Telangana.

It has been 20 years now since the state of Telangana came into existence again. With the city of Hyderabad as its capital, it was the long cherished dream which came true and opened doors of opportunity to the people of the region. Or so, they thought. I have not come back to talk about what it is now, but to reflect on why things will turn out to be the way they will turn out to be. For when the issue of the statehood of Telangana was burning, the only thing which everybody seemed to care about was the flaring emotions of the people involved and their mindless actions. The media would rant on about the reasons for the hasty decision of the congress, the agitations for and against the new state; dig deep into the history of Andhra and the erstwhile state of Hyderabad and keep playing images of people destroying public property with a vengeance. But none, not even one, would even bother to talk about the sustainability of the new state that will eventually form!

A state is not just about people and their emotions. It is also about plain economics, practicality and fulfilling the human need. It is not just about having a major metro as its capital. It is also about having a self sufficient system which has its own economic activities to feed itself. The formation of Telangana missed three major logical inconsistencies which eventually led to what it is now.

First, it assumed it had the great metro of Hyderabad on which it can simply piggyback. The problem is, Hyderabad was never a natural capital city or metro. Delhi, for instance was the power capital from the days of yore. Chennai, Mumbai and Kolkata were also cities which grew in their own right and sound economics. The cities of Bangalore and Hyderabad however were never meant to be cities. Nothing about their nature makes them what they are. They just happened to be cities where the geek lords of your age decided to set shop. Nothing more than that. They were cities of chance which owe their existence to the soul of their citizens. And so, when Telangana did happen and Hyderabad went there, it lost its multi-cutural cosmopolitan soul. The people no longer wanted to be part of something which existed for something so narrow as regionalism. As people moved away, so did the city. Before it knew, there wasn't one.

The next mistake was the assumption that the region of Telangana is a dreamland. The truth is, most of its districts are arid and even the rivers which cut through them cannot be used for irrigation purposes without draining the exchequer. It was never a Chattisgarh either, to fall back on its mineral wealth. With no major minerals except the few scattered coal reserves, it hardly presented anything lucrative for the manufacturing industries. Also, except for the few centers of wealth in and around the city of Hyderabad and the two hydel power plants, Telangana had no ammunition. Now, with Hyderabad's image as an investor destination hit thanks to ludicrous policies of the regional sentiment backed governments which hold power here, the investment flows into the state have come down to a trickle.

But the biggest mistake was ignorance of the concept of fringe benefits. As long as Telangana was a part of Andhra Pradesh, Telangana complained about injustice in the allocation of power and water resources. But, what never occurred to it was the benefits it enjoyed being a neighbor of the Rice bag districts of India which fed it with their surpluses and the fact that it reaped the benefits of the richer coastal districts which pumped in their money into Telangana or might I say Hyderabad. So unlike Uttaranchal, where it was the richer region which wished to get away from U.P which was laggard, Telangana was asking the prosperous Andhra region to move away when it should have been using it to power its growth.

From where I come, Telangana is a reality and a harsh one. It is a little less shocking encore of Jharkhand. So, I just wanted to tell you to please put your baseless loyalty to Hyderabad aside and start working your bottom off to build a life outside it. That would mean you would save yourself the effort of writing this letter and leaving it for you again!

Love,

Leela

P.S: Dude, do watch James Cameron's "Avatar" first day, first show at Prasads. You might bump into somebody you would really love to meet.

An irony called Chaos

A great alter ego by the name Tyler Durden once said this. "Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." These lines which have now attained a cult following pretty much sum up something much deeper and mammoth than a war against mindless consumerism. It exemplifies the very nature of the human race.

The human being is no ordinary creature. It is a highly evolved and sophisticated being which is a little too intelligent for its own good. The human brain is in fact incapable of existing in a state of stagnation or non activity. It is a power house of ideas whose energy has to be constantly channeled in the right directions. Otherwise, the human spirit struggles to contain the energy. It becomes restless, uneasy and increasingly irritable. And when this unrest is contained and applied to the world around, the magic it spins leaves even Merlin spellbound. That precisely is the reason why our civilization has progressed so far till date, and it will further.

However, in this incredible journey of our kind there are lessons to learn. When the going is tough; when there are challenges and tough times, the human spirit is at work in full force. But when these tides are conquered and time beaten, the peace which ensues kills us. A calm and serene world where everything seems to be just right is where man the most ill at ease. The fact that there is no need for him and his intelligence torments him. And it is now, at this very juncture when the human mind finds its existence threatened by its obsolescence, it does the most obvious thing - it creates a need for itself.

Plagues, floods, droughts and famines are one thing. They are Mother Nature's way of reminding us of her. Wars, depressions, riots, emergencies, coups and terrorism on the other hand are the making of man. No, they are not the makings of evil men hell bent on being a blotch on the fabric of human spirit. They are the joints where two strings meet with one going over the other perpendicular to each other. Without these, there is no fabric. Just strings which fall down as empty threads when left. Chaos is an irony. It is the human mind's ultimate defense mechanism. If there is none, it merely creates it only to seek to destroy it and give meaning to its existence. Nothing sinful. In fact, nothing new. It has been happening from the time humans existed. Just that we choose to ignore it and blame a few for the state of affairs of the world we live in. What we do not realize is that without any chaos, we would probably be itching to create just that.

We are Mother Nature's biggest mistake. We should not have been created. We should not have walked this planet at all. But now that we have, God save us!

Mera pehla pehla pyar..........

An appeal: The following is an account of a very important and life altering day of a 12 year old written with the same unblemished innocence and intent of a kid of the same age. So, it is best enjoyed when read from the eyes of a 12 year old.

It was a Wednesday. I still remember vividly. I was out on the porch with Varun taking some last minute tidbits from him when I first saw her. She was waving at someone and smiling brightly. Oh! I doubt if I will ever forget that first glimpse of her. But, before I realized what hit me, she was gone. As the world around came back to me, I realized how slowly my heart beat now, how funny my stomach felt with a weird tingling and how rhythmic my breath had become. I looked around in vain but alas! she was gone already.

The next time I saw was again a Wednesday. I was pulled off the line for untidy hair and made to stand aside after the prayer. I was doing the ceremonial lowering the head with shame when I saw her again. Sleepy and puffy eyed, she wore a straight face as she silently walked to her class in the line. My eyes followed her till it became too obvious to the others where I was looking. And then, it happened.

I should have seen it coming. Life was being a little too nice to me. I was doing well in the class, was having a great time at school with Nick, Tanmoy and Varun and an even better time back home with my gully friends, scoring well for our side in cricket and taking some good wickets too. In fact, I even managed to successfully execute a coup against the local bully and make sure he batted only twice every match! So, that morning I returned to the class after being roughed up by the physical trainer for the untidy hair and asked Nick what I had missed. He was telling me something when we were interrupted by Miss Kalpalatha. "There will be no classes in the after noon session today. Instead, there will be a reshuffling of students into sections", she announced and left.

Honestly, I had no idea what shuffling meant then but all I cared about was that we had no classes in the afternoon. So that afternoon, we guys had our meals late and lingered in the corridor till all the students were asked to vacate the classes with all our belongings. It took me a little less than a minute to put the pencil and the solitary book I wrote in back in the bag, pick my lunch basket and walk out. Nick, Varun and Tanmoy followed a little later and we stood in wait for our names and new sections to be announced.

"Tanmoy Mondal", shouted Kalpalatha. "E Section". He looked at the remaining three of us, assured us at least the remaining three of us will be in the same class and left to join the group of students from the other sections who were now going to be his classmates (We knew we wouldn't be joining him as he was being placed in the Sanskrit section. We on the other hand picked Hindi.) "S Varun, C Section", came next. He looked at me and Nick, puzzled and desperate, and left. Nick and I waited with bated breath hoping our names would also be called under C Section. But, C Section came and went with neither of our names being called out. "Nikhil D, B Section", was next and I looked silently and helplessly as my last best and only friend was herded into his new section. Intuitively, I felt my name wouldn't be called in this section. Yet, I stood there praying and waiting for my name to be called. "Leela Krishna, A Section" came and with it, I felt the little solid ground under my feet being pulled away throwing me into a deep endless tunnel of solitude where I had none of my best friends. It was while I was walking back slowly to my class (I was previously in the same section) dragging my basket along when I heard it. "Her, A Section", yelled Kalpalatha. I looked stunned as she slowly walked ahead of me and settled in the desk right next to where I sat in the class! Fumbling, half elated and half dazed, I walked to my desk, turned to her and said "Hi".

And that is how I uttered my first words to Her, the most beautiful thing that I have ever known.

And the award goes to...........

Once there was a school boy who was very notorious for mischief in the class. Coming from an influential family, he had his way in everything and was pretty much in public glare. No matter what the class teacher tried, the boy simply wouldn't mend his ways.

One day, the teacher was in the loo doing his business while reading the newspaper when he read "The News". And Eureka! That year, he gave the prestigious "Best Student of the class" award to the naughty kid. The whole school cried foul about the award; some openly, some in whispers. But, there was no undoing it.

On the other side, the kid was in a fix. He knew that the award is given only to the best in recognition of their achievements and conduct and he was nowhere in contention for it. Yet, now he found the shiny "Best Student" badge pinned to his tie binding him with invisible ropes of obligation to be good in public. He could no longer make any rash moves or be aggressive as the whole school was watching him keenly. The weight of the expectations and the glare of the eyeballs which followed his every move crippled the devil in him and he found himself trying to appease the others. Before he knew, his time at school was over and he was out.

On the last day, he walked up to his teacher and asked him why of all people in the world, he had given the prize to him. The teacher just smirked and said "Oh! I just borrowed the idea from the Norwegian Nobel Committee. You were just my little make-do Obama dear".

The Fairer Sex

It is already the last week of September and the clock is ticking faster by the minute. A sudden sense of urgency and purpose has crept into everybody and it is showing on their faces. With non-existent placements and dearth of aid in the US universities, people have suddenly discovered the manager in them and wish to hone their skills with an MBA. So, keeping up with the mood and time, a post to relax all those who give endless AIMCATS, SIMCATS and ProcMocks.

Directions for questions 56 to 60: Answer the questions on the basis of the following information.

A group of 6 young people A,B,C,D,E,F go on a picnic to Neverland. All of them are either male or female and straight. Each of them work in 6 different organizations. Also, each of them likes one genre of movie. Further, the following information is known:

(i) A loves to demand one of those "ladies" seats  in a public bus.

(ii) B loves to throw a nasty look at all those men standing in a long never-ending line waiting for their turn at the ticket counter of a multiplex while she catwalks in her special line to get hers.

(iii) C is a strong and independent naari who works for the "equality with men in all spheres of life" cause on behalf her fellow naariyan.

(iv) D is a go getter who proudly flaunts her "girl power" and loves to get up the corporate ladder using it.

(v) E is a lawmaker in the parliament. He/she proposed two bills in the house. One asks for 50% reservation for women in all urban and semi-urban municipalities. The other wished to make it mandatory for all corporate companies to publicly acknowledge and give EQUAL opportunities to women at workplace.

(vi) F is a psychology student doing his doctoral studies on "What women actually want?"

56. Do A and B enjoy the special treatment given to them?

(a) All the time.

(b) They can't stop grinning.

(c) Obviously it is their birth right.

(d) More than one of the above.

57. What would D say about herself?

(a) If you have it, flaunt it.

(b) Men have their advantages, I have mine.

(c) I am helpless. People crush me.

(d) Both (a) & (b)

58. Will C who fights for "Equality" use the privileges used by A & B?

(a) Barack Obama is the president of the US.

(b) Duh!

(c) She will stand in the long queue for tickets.

(d) She never sits in a bus, seat or no seat.

59. What is E?

(a) An alien from Mars.

(b) A woman.

(c) A man.

(d) A confused asylum runaway.

60. When will F finish his PhD?

(a) Very soon.

(b) 5-7 years if he changes the topic.

(c) Eternity if he doesn't.

(d) Either (b) or (c)

Sands of history

For the past one and a half month, the first page of every newspaper in the republic of India carried nothing but never ending articles about the book on Mohammed Ali Jinnah by one Jaswant Singh and the consequences he and his party had to bear, as they were thrashed from every direction for writing about the man in question, Jinnah in slightly positive light. Even the editorial page was not spared and every notable editor and celebrity writer in India, even those who had nothing much to say on the topic picked up their pen and wrote. This one book alone gave Jaswant Singh more publicity than his entire stint as the external affairs minister of India. Now that the issue has finally lost steam and the press has suddenly discovered that there is a whole world to write about, I thought I can have my say in peace.

I have always been very fortunate to have a well networked father, Satan. So, I had the pleasure of writing to Mr. Jaswant directly asking him why like the sudden spurt of rainfall all over the country, he had this urge to write about something so clichéd like Mr. Jinnah and the partition era. He was courteous enough to reply promptly and elaborated in detail why he had taken such a decision. He also wished I address him as Jaswant uncle for he felt a lot more liked then. He wrote that one evening when he was out for a walk in the local park, he bumped into a guy who was sitting peacefully on a bench and reading the evening news. When he looked at him, he was surprised to see that he looked freakishly similar to Mr. Jinnah. Amazed with the resemblance, Jaswant uncle blurted it out. The other man looked at Jaswant uncle alarmed, and smiled back. He said, “Yeah, I get that a lot. Big man he was, Mohammad Ali Jinnah.” The pleasant manner in which his hasty remark was taken took Jaswant uncle by surprise, for the post-independence Indian history has scrutinised every single detail of Jinnah; distorted and conveniently played with it making Jinnah nothing less demonic and iconic than the dark lord, Sauron from the Lord of the Rings series. He sensed Jaswant uncle’s surprise and asked him to join him. And then, he began.

“A time not so long ago, there was a nation of over 350 million. It was ruled over by a smaller but, more powerful nation. The ruling nation was a rather selfish one and didn’t care much about the subject nation. This created a lot of dissidence in the people regarding the policies of the ruling nation. So, a few rebelled. When they were crushed by the government, they rebelled harder. Still, it yielded no results. And the entire nation of 350mil shouted in unison and the ruling nation peed in its pants. The fact that it itself was going through an internal turmoil didn’t help matters. So, they agreed to withdraw and grant independence to the subject nation.

Now, the catch came here. All this time, the entire population of 350mil was more or less represented by a group of leaders. Gradually, their popularity and reach grew to such colossal heights that they became larger than life personalities. In fact, they were so large that the nation swayed if one of them sneezed, or groaned in pain if one of them had an upset stomach. Now, of these leaders, three leaders towered over the rest. Though many argue there are more; for the sake of this story, let us just say there are three. One of these was a man of high morals and principles. He had no political ambitions whatsoever. The other two on the other hand were smart, articulate, charismatic orators who had great visions for the country. They were very ambitious too. Both represented the hopes, aspirations, and apprehensions and fears of two particular sections of people. However, they were hardly anything like the people they represented. One represented the Muslims but, he relished pork, loved liquor, never did his namaz and wore nothing but the finest of English suits. The other was a more secular face but since the Muslims backed the first one, the Hindus backed him. He too was not exactly a devout Hindu. Either way, they were 'judwa' images of each other. These similarities became the core reason for the revulsion they had for each other.

They differed in just one thing, and it was the dream they had for the new independent nation. The Muslim one wanted a loose confederation of Balkan states which functioned independently. The other envisioned a great socialist power in the new nation with a strong central government working in tandem with the state governments. So, when the time had come, they wanted their own way. Since both held high posts in the interim government, they started pulling it in two different directions. Their aides simply followed the leaders and didn’t help much. The Muslim guy’s aide controlled the finance of the nation. The other was involved with the planning. Now, he was not getting the money he wanted. But, there was nothing he could do about it. Also by this time, the idea of splitting the spoils had come up in both their heads. So, as one of them put it, ‘If you have a headache, chop the head off and it is gone’ the head and body were torn apart and both got their way. As this division happened, both bled and the blood that flowed formed a thick stream of hatred and loathing which kept the two new nations apart.

Honestly, the mistake was nobody’s. The Muslim was never the communal prick he was and the Hindu was not always the thick headed git he acted like. It was just that as things shaped up, they had to take those routes for what they felt in their own ways was the common good. And like they say, there is never a ‘if it would have happened in another way’ in history. Everything in history happened the way it had happened because it was the only way it could have happened. The best we can do is to study and learn from it. However, it is incredibly foolish to dwell upon it.”

And it stopped. Jaswant uncle who till now, was busy absorbing every word keenly opened his eyes and saw there was nobody around. Actually, there was not a single human soul anywhere near where he was sitting. He had no clue how the other guy who was talking to him till a moment ago, had vanished into thin air. The sudden eeriness of the situation gave Jaswant uncle goose bumps and he rushed back home. But, the story clung in his head for a long time to come. And that is how he ended up in the soup he is in right now.

Hadbadi Main Gadbadi: CAT 2009!

The following is a letter written by the disgruntled and extremely annoyed part that was present in each and every one of the thousands of people who filled up the Prometric powered CAT 09 online form on the 9th of September 2009.

Dear sir,
I had purchased a voucher for CAT 2009 on the 9th of September and filled the online form on the same day. However, I made the mistake of not checking the tick boxes for SSC & HSC because of which I was not prompted to enter the details pertaining to the same. I only realized my mistake after I had submitted everything and booked a slot as well! In fact, I had even printed the hall ticket!
Worried, I inquired if anybody had made a similar mistake and was pleasantly surprised to know that there was a little nation of people who had done the same folly. When I inquired about what is to be done from someone else, he had told me that he was bluntly told to buy a new voucher and do the whole thing all over! I was flabbergasted at the insensitivity with which the issue was dealt with. I do accept that there is a fault from our side too and am deeply apologetic for that. But, I really think it is necessary to enlighten you about the root of the whole problem and illustrate the logical and logistical implications of the solution given by the helpline executive for the problem at hand.
1. The SSC and HSC details are mandatory for the IIMs to short list candidates after CAT. And I totally fail to see the logic behind expecting students to explicitly check HSC and SSC tick boxes for the system to prompt data entry. Who in the world can complete graduation without completing the earlier two degrees!
2. Even in the case of some brainless daft head like me and my fellow lesser intelligent beings making the mistake of not checking them, how can the system complete the procedure without that data!
3. Now, regarding the brilliant idea given by your helpline executive. I believe he was right when he gave that advice based on the FAQs which say that one is expected to buy a new voucher and apply again in case of a mistake in data entry. However, this is in total contradiction to another FAQ which clearly states a student can register only once. We would really appreciate if you can throw light on these lacunae.
4. This is the first time this application procedure is being used. So, mistakes during data entry are bound to arise. However, there is absolutely no provision to edit data once it is entered. Other online based applications for exams like XAT which have been around for a while still have that provision. We would really like to know the source of this supreme confidence in the system and faith in the common exam applicant.
5. Now comes the clincher, every person who has committed an error in data entry is as per your rules expected to register again. This would mean close to 20,000 (This is the estimated number) applicants fill in a new slot and the exam slots booked under their previous faulty profiles stand empty as there is no way to cancel them. Such sheer waste of time and man power is simply mindless!
Bottom-line: The system designed is unnecessarily complicated and rigid and gives unnecessary attention to details like privacy policies and doesn’t emphasize the more important ones like the education and test details. The support isn’t any smarter and there are many contradictory answers to the FAQs which reflect poorly on the entire team involved.
Now, before you dismiss this mail as junk, I have just one thing to say. It is very important that Prometric comes out of the bubble it is currently in and realize the gravity of the situation. These mistakes are not isolated incidents but something which are happening with many applicants. Hope you consider and respond appropriately.
Regards,
A CAT 2009 Prometric victim

Kaminey: A Review

It has been a while since I last wrote a post. A jobless final semester is making sure the lazy bone in me is spoilt for choice of boundless avenues to waste away. However, I happened to chance upon this movie last weekend and there was no way I could stay without writing a review for it even though it has been a couple of weeks since its release.

Every nightspot and lounge bar in town is playing it. A night at the pub is not complete without it. And every morning MTV and Channel[V] play it back to back close to a dozen times like Suprabatham. Dhan Te nan.........This groovy and super energy packed track from Kaminey more than captures the mood and spirit of the entire movie. If Omkara & Maqbool showed signs of a genius, Kaminey makes it straight and blunt to everybody in Bollywood that Vishal Bharadwaj will never make a Hindi movie like the world knows it.
All those who plan to watch this movie in the multiplex while half dozing off in the AC, be warned! Kaminey, with its dark look and racy direction is an intelligent movie which demands the audience to respect it and pay attention. Not that it needs anything extra to do that. The crisp narration & the sinful tracks make sure one is hooked to the screen.
The movie starts with Charlie (Shahid kapur) preaching the ultimate gyaan on the routes to success or as he would put it, fuckcess in life (No pun intended). Cut to another shot and we meet Charlie's estranged identical twin Guddu (Obvious) who preaches about the god sent "Kaandum" through a rather funny but witty street play. And then we have the Marathi hot belle and Guddu's lady love Sweety (Priyanka Chopra) who looks so "muaaah" that I have no words for her. Marathi sounded like the language of the gods when this one gave her lines in it.
Anyways, what ensues is how the good brother and bad brother meet thanks to a guitar, a badmouthing marathi politico brother-in-law and a couple of corrupt cops having a really bad day and how the two Shahids set their differences aside to help each other out when all odds turn against them. What really sets the movie apart is the treatment given to the otherwise mediocre storyline and the brilliant acting from every single member in the cast. Giving the story away would be a spoiler. So, it is best to stop here and not write anything more. However, the only thing one must be warned is the great deal of restrain required to stick to the seat and not jump up dancing to "Raat Ke Dhai Baje". Besides that, the very enjoyable songs and good cinema that kaminey is, will do their job just fine.

The candle which won't burn!

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine when she said something very interesting. She said "you know all these funny things happen with me. I have this really weird candle which won't burn. For some reason I don't quite understand, the flame just dies away. So, all the time when there is no power I am up there trying to keep the flame alive when the whole point of trying to have the candle was so that I could do something!" When she said that, both of us found it very amusing and laughed about it. Later that day, my dad came back from one of his usual trips to Delhi. He seemed pretty tired so I didn't bother him much and went around minding my own work.
The next day I noticed he was packing his bags again. Surprised, I asked him if he was leaving again. He replied in affirmative. Now, I would be lying if I said I would miss him but, honestly even I felt a tinge of pity that he had to spend so much time away from home. It is another matter he chose this job because he loved traveling and not because he wanted a high flying lifestyle. But, there are many who crave for exactly a life like that. They would love to come back to their palatial house on the weekends with a jet lag after a busy week globe trotting. And the little time they happen to be home, they would want to browse through lifestyle magazines trying to find a sofa set that defines them or a coffee table that complements their personality. They have to have the latest home theater in their bed room and the hottest electronic phenomenon in their pocket. And if this isn't enough, even the bathroom fittings in their loo have to mirror their sense of style.
But, after all this shopping and splurging trying to make up their home to the finest taste, they prefer clocking frequent flier miles and dozing off in airport lounges waiting for their connecting flight than staying at home indulging in the very things for which they work so hard for. They prefer changing their dress in a hotel suite and living life out of a suitcase. They precisely end up doing what my friend was doing. They are so busy trying to keep the candle flame up that they forget the actual purpose of the candle.
Ambition is good. It is very important for being successful. But, one shouldn't fall in love with the pursuit of success that he can't really enjoy the taste of success anymore. The fact is, everybody has one life. And it is up to them to fill it with moments and experiences which one will cherish all life or a wardrobe full of designer wear.

The voice itself!

Greetings lesser mortals! I am Satanputr, son of Satan. I am sure you know my dad very well. He is rather infamous for his notoriety in your mortal world. I on the other hand, do not seem to have been bequeathed with his satanic deportment. In fact, I think I have been gifted with a rather sardonic humor and playful wit which gives me the luxury to look at very ordinary things in your world and mine in a not-so-ordinary way.

Before I write any further, there are a few things which I think are necessary to clear. There is a reason why I write in this space all the way from the underworld. It is rather disturbing for me being down here and seeing you mortals making your lovely world no better than the underworld you so dearly fear. From time eternal, since your race started living an intelligent life, it has done everything in its power to make a simple life incredibly complicated and miserable as possible, all in the name of “progress”. What else explains the fact that you churn fuel guzzling SUVs in the name of epicurean comfort? And worse, that super luxury loaded car which weighs close to half a ton more often than not, carries a single 80 Kg man! Your race has had some of the brilliant mathematicians known. However, you fail to see the irrationality in cutting life giving trees for making space to accommodate more humans who actually need the very trees which are being cut. Your diplomats and leaders are highly learned men who hold talks on how to save your planet from choking itself. They speak heavy jargon about their countries commitment to doing their bit for the planet as long their economy is not compromised. I ask, “What is the use of a healthy economy when you have no planet?” Honestly, the priorities of your race are more messed up than Paris Hilton’s search for true love!

Greed runs in your blood now. The most brilliant of your minds are engaged not in administration but in spinning out financial wizardry to make money out of thin air. If the former happened, all those humanitarian issues which plague your world would have been something which belonged to an age when even I didn’t exist! Instead, what you have is a bunch of Rolex wearing brains in Hugo Suits making love to silicone simpletons in their high rise condos. For a cult like yours which lives by “Over achievement should be a way of life”, there is barely anything more which I can say or do.

However, there is something really amusing about you humans. In spite of all this longing for so-called success, tragedy greatly fascinates you. From literature to art to religion, the best of works usually depict a tragic scene or happening. The Greeks were an exception though. They had a remarkable comic outlook to life for they believed comedy is something which is worthy only of the gods. They thought the gods were up there looking at your misgivings and laughing at it. Hence, for them, comedy was a way to feel like Zeus himself! So, taking a page out of the Greek way of life, I, Satanputr feel duty bound to make you mortals feel like the gods through my writings as am very sure a measly few of you are going to that side after you pass this life.

P.S: Since the portal between our worlds is usually packed with lawyers, businessmen and the like, I might not be able to write in first person. One of your kind, a bloke called Leela Krishna Annam will do my bidding. The git seemed more than willing to do the job. The only trouble is that he holds himself in high regard, too high for his own good. So, if there is anything on this space which isn’t to your taste, please do me the favor of going and whopping his ass. However, if something really amused you and was thought provoking, do post a comment for me.

Women on the move!

On a bright Monday morning, if you are driving down to work on a busy road and happen to notice that the traffic in the adjacent lane is moving way too slow even for peak hours, there is a 10% chance that in the car creating that bottleneck is some thick skinned dick head who is on his mobile while at the wheel. But, there is an overwhelming 90% chance that the pack is being led by a lady driving with her body upright and stiff like an army man in all too alarming ATTENTION posture with both eyes drawn together in utmost concentration on the road ahead that one gets a feeling that the road in front of her will give way anytime revealing a river of simmering magma underneath.

The scene is all the more hilarious when "madamji" is driving a two wheeler. First, we have her covered from head to toe and full hand gloves in the same stiff posture looking like a rather amusing cross between "Bandit Queen" and a surgeon out to perform a rigorous 12 hour surgery. Her defense: "Oh my gawd! The UV rays of the sun are so dangerous you know and all the dust on the road can ruin my skin !" But the icing on the cake comes now. From the moment the vehicle is started, the brake light is always flashing. Even in the rare case when a woman is traveling at 40 Kmph, one is bound to see the brake light glowing behind. Only the almighty knows how they manage to drive and yet always have the brakes applied. And when it is time to stop, even before the brakes do the job, the two legs are down on the road like the landing gear of an aircraft trying to end the misery of driving ASAP.

So, why is that women are so averse to driving? Why is driving a vehicle to a woman as intriguing as riding an enraged bull? The answer is actually very simple but most women simply won't buy it for reasons they best understand. Honestly, what is wrong in accepting one is bad at something? Anyways, the female fraternity choose to differ and so, let it be.

The difference between the driving of a man and woman is very fundamental in nature. Once a guy gets used to a vehicle, he gets a feel of the beat of its engine and its sensitivities to movement. So, when a guy is driving his bike or car, it is as good as a part of his body like his legs or eyes which work in tandem with the driver. For the guy, it is basically him and him alone who is moving. For him, the vehicle is no different than him. However, a woman always treats her ride as.....well....a vehicle. For her, it is merely something which can move when you hit the gas and slows when you leave it. That is all. Anything beyond that is irrelevant to her. So when she is driving, two things are moving: the vehicle and her. Now as long as that is the case, there is never going to be a dearth of funny videos of women drivers on youtube and we guys will always have something to watch and laugh our heads off.

Star Trek: A Review

I am not sure if it was the company I had or the more than half empty movie theater, but I just loved the whole movie experience. I had gone with a few seniors of mine from school one of whom I was meeting directly after school. Both of us had a lady interest back then and so, obviously we were so busy talking about her that I hardly realized when the movie started. But, when it did, it made sure everybody who was sitting there was hooked to the screen. One of the very few decent movies to be released in recent times, everything about this movie is good. The story is woven seamlessly with absolutely zero loose ends and the direction is brilliant making sure there is not a single dull moment in the two hour ride.

The movie starts abruptly with an intergalactic fight in one of the far ends of space between a Federation vessel USS Kelvin and a Romulan ship captained by our Romulan of focus Nero who is in pursuit of a certain Vulcan called Spock. In the middle of all this, on one of the escape pods is born our man of focus, James Tibirius Kirk. The movie then suddenly jumps to Vulcan and introduces us to our Vulcan of focus, Spock. The movie then goes on to trace Kirk's and Spock's journey onto the USS Enterprise and how the so popular crew of the USS Enterprise came together amidst the feuding between the logically driven Spock and instinct following Kirk. The movie has plenty of action (the best part is none of it goes overboard even by Sci-Fi movie standards) and lucid humour sprinkled to good taste.

To be very honest, I was never really a fan of Sci-Fi movies set in space plainly because I really can't stand all the terrible looking aliens which all those animators create with their crooked imagination. And I was completely ignorant of Star Trek before this movie. So I was pleasantly surprised that almost all aliens, at least the Vulcans and Romulans who are the only ones we get to see in the movie were merely humans with really stupid haircuts and few tattoos on their faces. So, why watch it if what we get is a flick with human earthlings and human aliens? Well, watch it for the wonderfully woven storyline; watch it for that nostalgic feeling (This one is for all those old timers) and watch it because it is good cinema at its best and manages to pull it off without a single big name in the cast.

As they like it!

In a time not so long ago, in a land not so far away, there was a province called "Sizezero". The people of this town were obsessed with their health and fitness and their rulers did everything in their power to make sure everybody lived a "chust and tandhurust" life. Following a recent study that the people in the province were losing shape, a new rule was passed which put a ceiling on the total weight of a family based on its size. Of all the many others, the play here is set in one particular family with four members in it: Uncle Sam, Bharat Ma, Canadian Jack and Old Dragon.
The play opens in the family's living room. The mood is pensive and everybody is lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly, Uncle Sam exclaims.

Uncle Sam (Excitedly in his usual intimidating cracking voice): I have figured it out! The solution is so obvious. I can't believe we were thinking so much about it.

Bharat Ma (A hint of annoyance in her squeaky little voice): What is so obvious? I still can't figure how we meet that new weight ceiling law! All of us are healthy foodie freaks.

Old Dragon (With slits for eyes, it hisses): Of course, it is obvious. Uncle Sam and Canadian Jack are the chubbiest of the lot. They should be the ones shedding the most weight. Only then will Bharat Ma and I can make it through.

Canadian Jack (In a deep rustic voice): That will be enough. Now, I believe Dragon here will help us understand better why I and Sam must lose the weight while they make merry.

Old Dragon: Hey! when did I say Bharat Ma and me will make merry while you two lose weight. I am saying all of us need to do our bit. But the two of you must do the bulk of it.

Bharat Ma: Now I get it! Since Sam and Jack are already bulky and have no need for more as they have few obligations, we guys can probably be a little relaxed. After all dragon and I are actually picking up steam only recently.

At this point, Uncle Sam makes a grunting sound but is not heard. Dragon continues.

Old Dragon: So true Ma! You couldn't have been more spot on. It is really necessary we take action together but Sam and Jack really do more than just contribute.

Uncle Sam (In a firm tone now): Ahem Ahem! I OBVIOUSLY did not mean anything even remotely close to what Dragon said. My idea is infact contrary to it. I believe both Bharat Ma and Old Dragon must do the dirty work.

Bharat Ma (Shocked): Excuse me!! But am I hearing it right Sam!

Old Dragon (Angrily grinding its teeth and lasning its tail): I protest! It cannot be that way.

Uncle Sam (In a mocking baby tone): See, the fact is both Jack and I are used to a certain lifestyle which are not willing to give up. You two are anyways not used to it. Why bother about trying to come to us. You should lose more as you anyways have little. Besides, how can I throw my weight anymore if I don't have any.

Bharat Ma: But...but...

Old Dragon: I will not agree. I am not listening to anything what Sam and Jack saying.

Canadian Jack : Oh dear Dragon, you are so naive. Do you really think you call the shots anywhere. You are what you think you because we let you so. Now get back to making those toys.

The curtain falls.

This is how our world leaders plan to curtail carbon emissions and save our planet. The first world countries' mantra: The plenty must continue the way they live as they are used to it and the others must simply pass as they are anyways used to the tough life. So much for "The Asian age".

Good colour, Bad colour

Anybody who studied in a decent school or read a decent joke book must have come across and cracked one of those PJs which involves an Indian, an American, a Russian, a Japanese or a Wednesday from Crusoe's island. All those jokes usually ended with each person taking a dig at some stereotypical behavior of their fellow countrymen. That has always been the case for a long time now. So what about it............ Well, nothing except that it would have been very interesting to see how those jokes would have ended if some bloke would have made them up today. My best guess is it would have probably ended with all of them collectively lamming the "desi" guy from the "Land of the curry" and him crying foul how his government does not care for him.

In today's supposed age of globalization where where all countries are part of one global village, suddenly many foreign nationals seem to be intolerant of Indians. Is it a change in our lifestyle and behavior? Is it because of insecurity about the alien Indians snatching away their livelihood? And honestly, is it really as huge as it is being portrayed? Thanks to the 24x7 media, with its innate ability to make even the most isolated of event seem like a worldwide phenomenon, we really can't be too sure about this. And there is always the chance of most these attacks were opportunistic rather than racially motivated.

The reasons are many which can be best understood by an analogy. Picture any Indian as the boy in the neighborhood who plays on the road facing your house. As he first started playing, he was always careful and made sure he curbed his shots to make sure the ball never fell in your house or hit the window. Even if it did fall, he was polite enough to ask if could take the ball and apologized for it. But at his house, the same kid was a pampered pain who made a racket. Only outside, because he wasn't too sure if he could stand up for himself he kept a low profile. As he grew, he started topping his class and became the ringleader of his little group. He still plays. But, there is a sea of change in him. All those polite requests are gone. He barges into your house whenever the ball falls there. And he hits the ball as if he owns the place. And the other day, he broke your window pane but he vehemently denies it.

So how would you be towards him now? Would you be angry at how he is taking advantage of your good nature and go to his dad? Would you take matters into your own hands and whop his ass? Or would you be the friendly neighborhood uncle who would just smile and sportingly say it is all a part of growing up?

The boy here could be just one of those countless Indians flocking at foreign immigration counters everyday for starting life a fresh in a new land. And the random native of that nation would be feeling the same as you, the neighborhood uncle. Different uncles react differently. Different kids grow up differently. It is just not fair to generalize either of their behaviors. The new generation Indians should be careful about their shots. No matter how much leverage your country is gaining in the international circles, the fact is that you are playing in front of somebody else's house. And the 24x7 media is the flibbertigibbet of the neighborhood who loves drama and gossip. It is best if everybody listen to her, give her a phony smile and think for themselves.

Maya ya Mahamayi

In the 1997 runaway Bollywood hit "Dil To Pagal Hai", King Khan promises his audience to come back with "Maya" the next time he is performing. He eventually finds his Maya in the form of Madhuri Dixit. The Republic of India on the other hand found its "Maya" not in some glam doll but in a typical behenji from the political backyard of India U.P.
If 'MTV' starts a hunt for the quintessential example of a corrupt, ruthless, powerhungry and oppurtunistic politician in post independence India, Mayawati will win hands down. Unlike her political contemporaries, Mayawati proudly wears all the above attributes on her sleeve and still has the courage to announce the world " Main agla Prime Minister banungi". With an ambition which even belittles MJ's pursuit of beauty, Mayawati is the great Indian (i)con. Her belief in herself will go down as stuff of legends. Who else would have thought they could get away by extorting money from people publicly and tagging them birthday gifts, embezzle crores of money meant for a world heritage site and expect nobody to notice and erect gaint statues of herself and her guru all over her capital using public money and compare them to India Gate & Raj Ghat!
In her defence she claims she is a dalit who has been exploited all this time and now it is pay back time. Besides, according to her, by being so open about her ambitions she is atleast being honest.So celebrating Mayawati's honesty and the "supposed" dawn of her age, Satanputr presents "Maya ya Mahamayi"

A Rupee's Worth

On the 6th of July 2009, in a nation of over a billion, a bespectacled man with graying hair on a balding head made his way to work to do an annual ritual. But, it wasn't as simple as it sounds. As he stood up and took a deep breath and spoke his first words on the mike, the nation held its breath silently and listened as if the almighty himself had come down to say what he is up to! By the time he finished, the bulls turned into bears and around two & half crore rupees of investor money was wiped off the face of the planet. By the time he finished, it suddenly made so much more sense for all 20 year olds to pursue their education on a loan than on their dad's hard earned money. By the time he finished, India Inc was breaking its head why it never paid good taxes before! These are just few of the nation's reactions to the Financial Budget for the year 2009 presented by Mr. Pranab Mukherjee.

So what does it mean to you? After all, budgets come & go every year. Well, you will be surprised how much a budget effects your life in ways you never thought it can. To put it in better prespective, Satanputr presents a not-so-commonplace interpretation.

1. To the 2 year toddler: Don't you worry baby, your days to worry about all this are a long way ahead.
2. To the 14 year old girl who wants to be a teen diva: Chill sweet heart. Don't worry about your mum catching you trying out her cosmetics. They don't burn that big a hole anymore.
3. To the 16 year old class topper with those geeky spectacles: All your persuasion to get your dad to buy you contacts went down the drain. They just got dearer.
4. To the 19 year old college freshie : Get your dad to fund your education on a loan. That way you not only save his money now, you also give him more tax cuts on your loan.
5. To the 21 year old "Baap ka maal" dude: Time to ask your dad to pay for those new K&N filters and titanium spark plugs for your car. Your dad just got lucky and saved some major rookda!
6. To the 25 year old IT employee: All that money your company was paying as taxes on your perks will now have to be paid by you mister. That means your perks worth 4 lakhs will attract nearly just as much tax as your 4 lakh CTC
7. To the 28 year old "I live by the To-Do List" guy: Time to get your car for which you have been saving for long.
8. To the 30 year old stock broker on Dalal Street: You just had a BAD field day yesterday man. Rest for a while.
9. To the 32 year old Mutual Fund player: Keep your fingers crossed. All those people savings might just come your way.
10. To the 34 year old nagging TV soaps' devotee: Your husband is never going to get that Set Top box for you now. muhahahaha
11. To the 37 year old unemployed youth in "Bharat ka Khoya hua Gaon": Lady luck finally smiled. You just got a gaurantee for a job.
12. To the 43 year old farmer in West Godavari: Smile my friend, the interest levels have come down to the earth you till.
13. To the 48 year old corporate lawyer in South Delhi: All the money you squeeze from your clients shall now be squeezed from you.
14. To the 52 year old scientist at ISRO: File those forms for getting that new simulation software you have been lobbying for so long. Your director just got a huge nod when he asked for money.
15. To the 56 year old defence broker in Israel: Loads of money and military orders from India coming your way. Gear up!
16. To the 62 year old uncle in the neighborhood: You toiled hard all your life. So smile, relax and enjoy with your kids and theirs.

And yeah not to forget!
To Y.S.Rajashekar Reddy in Hyderabad: You walked the entire state in the sweltering heat of the summer sun on foot and managed to send 33 Congress candidates as MPs to the parliment. That is the single largest consignment from one party from one state. In return, your ministers get one cabinet post and one MoS post. Andhra Pradesh slipped out of the Railway Minister's mind when she made her budget. And all those pats you got on the back for your ambitious & commendable irrigation projects were merely gestures of pity over your naiveness. The Finance Minister too conveniently gave AP a miss. Please wake up and try something called "Lobbying"

Oye: A review

NOTE: Satanputr pleads the readers not to take this review to heart & watch the movie themselves to form their opinion. Whatever views that have been expressed only reflect the personal opinion of the "son of the devil" i.e me. Lastly, I would like to thank Lamboo a.k.a the arcticmonkey for giving me the idea of writing movie reviews on my blog.

Once upon a time, there is a dude. Born to a rich dad whose face we never get to see, he lives bindaas partying and globetrotting. Around the same time,there is a girl or may I say a "Lady" who lives according to a To-Do List and doesn't sleep without writing her dairy. He believes in cherishing the short and sweet moments of life and detests anything permanent. She like things well planned and which come with a lifetime warranty. So, the opening shots are spent trying to make these differences obvious to the viewers. And finally, one fine day, the dude lays his eyes on the girl and falls in love and tries to woo her only to realize he isn't exactly her kind of material. The rest of the first half deals with how he wins her heart only to learn that she is dying soon. The second half is a lame rip off from the "The Bucket List" where the girl decides to let her hair loose and check out the life the dude way before everything is over. At the end of it all, you leave the multiplex in a dazed and confused state trying to figure out why did they make this movie.
The subject picked was stupid and has already been exhaustively used in Tollywood. The treatment is lame. Absolutely no innovation anywhere and the reason given for the hero & heroine's "Oh! It is so much fun" trip to Kasi even when she is dying is even more lame. Sunil's comedy is again repetitive and sometimes gross. Only the Chatrapathi comedy track was slighly laughable. And leaving out the first two songs there wasn't much in the movie. I must mention here that I really didn't have the patience to sit through the remaining songs and spent that time in the rest room setting my hair and having some pop-corn outside in the lobby. So, am not really the right person to comment on the songs.
Final verdict: Not worth the time, money or the effort if you are looking for some good entertainment. But, considering that there aren't any good movies around, it isn't such a bad movie if you really wanted to hit the multiplex.

The devil wears Prada!

It was one of those days where I woke up early hoping to do "something useful" and realized I was trying to do something magnificently futile as no matter what I did the day seemed to last just 4 hrs. So there I was sitting with my friend in Coffee Day at 6 in the evening trying to figure out why the last thing I remember doing something or rather anything in the day was brushing at 8 in the morning while my friend was yapping something to which I wasn't even listening.
My eyes were doing their usual wandering searching for some pretty face around to while my tongue was preoccupied with trying to give my teeth a rough shade of white than the dark chocolate they were thanks to the all the chocolate I had sitting there. I was stretching out my hand to take some water when I suddenly notice this babe walk in. She was probably 5'8" give or take an inch, had a very tantalizing skin tone which flirted with the line between "fair" and "wheatish", open hair which refused to stop killing anyone who looked at it, was wearing a sharp one piece and above all, a certain air around which said "Dude! Back off" She was what I would say DDG material. For the uninformed, DDG is Drop Dead Gorgeous. Anyways, the point is I wasn't the only git sitting there who noticed. Everybody was thinking how this precious piece fell down from the heavens without as much a scratch!
I looked at my friend to thank him for pulling me to Coffee Day when I noticed he seemed least bothered with what just struck that place! Surprised, I asked him if had missed the impossible and he just smiled and said "Girls like that are great to look at. But, beyond that I dunno if I would like a girl like that". I was shocked! Who was asking him to marry her and like she would! But he continued "I sorta like the neatly dressed FTPs not the babes like this who don't really dress to my taste" Again the words caught me off gaurd. What was he talking! I asked why it mattered how the girl dressed the and what the heck is FTP! He said it was college lingo and stands for "Family Type Papa"! I was flabbergasted.
How can one tell a women by her dressing! For heaven's sake, it is only about how comfortable a person is with his/her dressing and if they can carry it with confidence. What does dressing even remotely have to do with a girl's nature! He argued that women who dress well mean they are usually confident about themsleves and tend to very independent and he wasn't too sure if he would be very comfortable with her. I knew I had to put some sense into his head. So I started off. I hope it makes some sense to you too if you happen to read this!
"See just because somebody is wearing something which many may term as "forward" or "fast" doesn't make her one. And it also doesn't mean a .... "well dressed girl" (So to say) is a "homely" girl. It is all about comfort and convenience. Somebody who dresses well today might not really have the time nor the taste to do so later. And some chick who dresses "well" now might not really be the Sati Savitri type later or rather even now. For all you know, the mummy's girl next door might have many skeleltons in the closet while the chic who goes to the movie with her boyfriend might turn to be a lot more responsible than you would have ever imagined. And mind most of the domestic headaches which happen are thanks to all those FTPs who were brought up in a closed highly controlled environment and who no idea how to handle the freedom they get once they grow up. It is like "new royalty" who don't know what to do with all the new found wealth and find it overwhelming to manage it. A free open upbringing is the only thing which ensures a person to grow healthy. So what if the girl is a Billabong chick in her teens. I mean is wrong in wearing something which looks good on you. Besides, if the need really does arise I do think a mature woman will understand irrespective of the way she dressed when she was 20. For heaven's sake give the girls a break and let them have what they wish. It is a free country dude. And mind you, the guy who is shitting you all this right now is 20 yrs old and still roams around everywhere in NEWPORT & UB shorts and Ts. Get a life man."
I was just done telling him when I realized that half the place was empty and the one who was the reason I started this "Hitabhodhan" had left. Disappointed, I cast him a dirty look for pulling me into this and left the place after I cleared the cheque. And that is how I got something to write today.

Still 15 at heart

I am 20 now and turning 21 this September. According to a friend of mine, 20 is the age where ideally one should be running out of excuses to do anything stupid! 20 is supposedly the age where our life is at a very important crossroads from where it can head anywhere.

Funnily, according to the same people, we were at the same crossroads when we finished our "Life Changing" Boards of tenth and the "Future Deciding" entrances after our 12th. So, after all those years of slogging our asses off (Atleast,I didn't.But, all those poor souls who lived pitiful lives buried in books and were thrown around between tutions and foundation classes and school did) and those endless hours we spent at college doing "Gyaan Praapthi" we are back to the same crossroads!Fine, the counter argument maybe that the crossroads are not the same and after any journey one is bound to come across crossroads. But, somehow I feel cheated and wasted! Honestly after 3 years of engineering in of the more reputed universities of the nation I don't feel anything even close to an engineer. And trust me it is not my fault. I may not exactly be an ass slogger but I make sure I know my stuff.It is just that nothing at college managed to motivate me to pursue a full feldged career in engineering.
So this summer I decided I have had enough!Enough of running the Rat race which has no finish line! I decided I needed a break. So,I pushed all my books aside and went out there and be a kid again!
Now how do I be a kid! That is a tough thing in my locality considering that all the flats here are a haven for all the retired folk. I tried desperately to pull some of old childhood chums who hadn't grown up too much or hadn't moved out of the colony to play. But,none seemed interested. After a day of futile attempts I gave up and came back home. Then my sister took me to this group of kids (They were still doing their schooling.So I assume I can call them kids) in the adjacent colony who were playing Dumb Charades when I met them.They were more than glad to take a 6 foot half engineer into their fold. I must say I was pretty apprehensive when I joined them if I would in their group but I was surprised by kid who was still there in me. So much for me trying to be an aritculate grown up for the last two years. So cheers to this daily routine of "Gappe Maarna", sitting on the top of the tank and watching the clouds shift shapes and all those endless pani puri plates we had at the chat bhandi!

Why did the chicken cross the road!

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
This question is probably the one question which we must have heard a million times but we never manage to have an answer for it.
Even now,I am not too sure myself but I thought I will give my take on it.So,here goes.
To answer this question it is very important that we look at what the chicken has to gain by crossing the road.On the side it is right now,it has a pretty content life with everything it needs.No complaints whatsoever. By crossing the road not only is it risking injury but also the all the comforts which it currently enjoys for it is not necessary that the other side be better than the first one.So, why does it have to?It doesn't make any logical sense!
To understand this I will give you a simple analogy.Imagine you have a Maruti Alto and one fine weekend while you are strolling in a new mall in the city you come across a new mid segment sedan on display.The smartass salesperson there catches hold of you and convinces you with all those big words that he spent his life mastering that this car is the one thing you have been searching all your life!So,you decide to get rid of your sufficiently comfortable Alto and buy the sedan on a loan!
Another somewhat similar but slightly different scenario.Say you are in a supermarket buying your monthly rations. Usually you would have bought three boxes of icecream for the month which would have been more than enough.However,you notice there is an offer which is giving you five boxes for the price of four.Seeing the offer you start thinking again "If I pay a little more I am getting a good deal".So instead of paying for the three boxes, you pay for four and take home five boxes happy and content.So,where is the relation you may ask.The point to notice here is that it is not the extra box you are getting for free which is not important but the extra box you are paying even though you don't really need it.
I am guessing the fallacy is pretty obvious by now.Pursuit of `"better" things in life is something which is deeply embodied in the nature of any living creature and thanks to all of today's brilliant ad makers and marketing gurus we are living in a make believe world where "Happiness" is bottled in the bubbles of Coca-Cola,"Life's Good" because you have a LCD TV in your living room and quality time with family means a night out in Domino's Pizza.
And that people is the reason why the chicken crossed the road!