Kaminey: A Review

It has been a while since I last wrote a post. A jobless final semester is making sure the lazy bone in me is spoilt for choice of boundless avenues to waste away. However, I happened to chance upon this movie last weekend and there was no way I could stay without writing a review for it even though it has been a couple of weeks since its release.

Every nightspot and lounge bar in town is playing it. A night at the pub is not complete without it. And every morning MTV and Channel[V] play it back to back close to a dozen times like Suprabatham. Dhan Te nan.........This groovy and super energy packed track from Kaminey more than captures the mood and spirit of the entire movie. If Omkara & Maqbool showed signs of a genius, Kaminey makes it straight and blunt to everybody in Bollywood that Vishal Bharadwaj will never make a Hindi movie like the world knows it.
All those who plan to watch this movie in the multiplex while half dozing off in the AC, be warned! Kaminey, with its dark look and racy direction is an intelligent movie which demands the audience to respect it and pay attention. Not that it needs anything extra to do that. The crisp narration & the sinful tracks make sure one is hooked to the screen.
The movie starts with Charlie (Shahid kapur) preaching the ultimate gyaan on the routes to success or as he would put it, fuckcess in life (No pun intended). Cut to another shot and we meet Charlie's estranged identical twin Guddu (Obvious) who preaches about the god sent "Kaandum" through a rather funny but witty street play. And then we have the Marathi hot belle and Guddu's lady love Sweety (Priyanka Chopra) who looks so "muaaah" that I have no words for her. Marathi sounded like the language of the gods when this one gave her lines in it.
Anyways, what ensues is how the good brother and bad brother meet thanks to a guitar, a badmouthing marathi politico brother-in-law and a couple of corrupt cops having a really bad day and how the two Shahids set their differences aside to help each other out when all odds turn against them. What really sets the movie apart is the treatment given to the otherwise mediocre storyline and the brilliant acting from every single member in the cast. Giving the story away would be a spoiler. So, it is best to stop here and not write anything more. However, the only thing one must be warned is the great deal of restrain required to stick to the seat and not jump up dancing to "Raat Ke Dhai Baje". Besides that, the very enjoyable songs and good cinema that kaminey is, will do their job just fine.

The candle which won't burn!

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine when she said something very interesting. She said "you know all these funny things happen with me. I have this really weird candle which won't burn. For some reason I don't quite understand, the flame just dies away. So, all the time when there is no power I am up there trying to keep the flame alive when the whole point of trying to have the candle was so that I could do something!" When she said that, both of us found it very amusing and laughed about it. Later that day, my dad came back from one of his usual trips to Delhi. He seemed pretty tired so I didn't bother him much and went around minding my own work.
The next day I noticed he was packing his bags again. Surprised, I asked him if he was leaving again. He replied in affirmative. Now, I would be lying if I said I would miss him but, honestly even I felt a tinge of pity that he had to spend so much time away from home. It is another matter he chose this job because he loved traveling and not because he wanted a high flying lifestyle. But, there are many who crave for exactly a life like that. They would love to come back to their palatial house on the weekends with a jet lag after a busy week globe trotting. And the little time they happen to be home, they would want to browse through lifestyle magazines trying to find a sofa set that defines them or a coffee table that complements their personality. They have to have the latest home theater in their bed room and the hottest electronic phenomenon in their pocket. And if this isn't enough, even the bathroom fittings in their loo have to mirror their sense of style.
But, after all this shopping and splurging trying to make up their home to the finest taste, they prefer clocking frequent flier miles and dozing off in airport lounges waiting for their connecting flight than staying at home indulging in the very things for which they work so hard for. They prefer changing their dress in a hotel suite and living life out of a suitcase. They precisely end up doing what my friend was doing. They are so busy trying to keep the candle flame up that they forget the actual purpose of the candle.
Ambition is good. It is very important for being successful. But, one shouldn't fall in love with the pursuit of success that he can't really enjoy the taste of success anymore. The fact is, everybody has one life. And it is up to them to fill it with moments and experiences which one will cherish all life or a wardrobe full of designer wear.

The voice itself!

Greetings lesser mortals! I am Satanputr, son of Satan. I am sure you know my dad very well. He is rather infamous for his notoriety in your mortal world. I on the other hand, do not seem to have been bequeathed with his satanic deportment. In fact, I think I have been gifted with a rather sardonic humor and playful wit which gives me the luxury to look at very ordinary things in your world and mine in a not-so-ordinary way.

Before I write any further, there are a few things which I think are necessary to clear. There is a reason why I write in this space all the way from the underworld. It is rather disturbing for me being down here and seeing you mortals making your lovely world no better than the underworld you so dearly fear. From time eternal, since your race started living an intelligent life, it has done everything in its power to make a simple life incredibly complicated and miserable as possible, all in the name of “progress”. What else explains the fact that you churn fuel guzzling SUVs in the name of epicurean comfort? And worse, that super luxury loaded car which weighs close to half a ton more often than not, carries a single 80 Kg man! Your race has had some of the brilliant mathematicians known. However, you fail to see the irrationality in cutting life giving trees for making space to accommodate more humans who actually need the very trees which are being cut. Your diplomats and leaders are highly learned men who hold talks on how to save your planet from choking itself. They speak heavy jargon about their countries commitment to doing their bit for the planet as long their economy is not compromised. I ask, “What is the use of a healthy economy when you have no planet?” Honestly, the priorities of your race are more messed up than Paris Hilton’s search for true love!

Greed runs in your blood now. The most brilliant of your minds are engaged not in administration but in spinning out financial wizardry to make money out of thin air. If the former happened, all those humanitarian issues which plague your world would have been something which belonged to an age when even I didn’t exist! Instead, what you have is a bunch of Rolex wearing brains in Hugo Suits making love to silicone simpletons in their high rise condos. For a cult like yours which lives by “Over achievement should be a way of life”, there is barely anything more which I can say or do.

However, there is something really amusing about you humans. In spite of all this longing for so-called success, tragedy greatly fascinates you. From literature to art to religion, the best of works usually depict a tragic scene or happening. The Greeks were an exception though. They had a remarkable comic outlook to life for they believed comedy is something which is worthy only of the gods. They thought the gods were up there looking at your misgivings and laughing at it. Hence, for them, comedy was a way to feel like Zeus himself! So, taking a page out of the Greek way of life, I, Satanputr feel duty bound to make you mortals feel like the gods through my writings as am very sure a measly few of you are going to that side after you pass this life.

P.S: Since the portal between our worlds is usually packed with lawyers, businessmen and the like, I might not be able to write in first person. One of your kind, a bloke called Leela Krishna Annam will do my bidding. The git seemed more than willing to do the job. The only trouble is that he holds himself in high regard, too high for his own good. So, if there is anything on this space which isn’t to your taste, please do me the favor of going and whopping his ass. However, if something really amused you and was thought provoking, do post a comment for me.