On the 6th of July 2009, in a nation of over a billion, a bespectacled man with graying hair on a balding head made his way to work to do an annual ritual. But, it wasn't as simple as it sounds. As he stood up and took a deep breath and spoke his first words on the mike, the nation held its breath silently and listened as if the almighty himself had come down to say what he is up to! By the time he finished, the bulls turned into bears and around two & half crore rupees of investor money was wiped off the face of the planet. By the time he finished, it suddenly made so much more sense for all 20 year olds to pursue their education on a loan than on their dad's hard earned money. By the time he finished, India Inc was breaking its head why it never paid good taxes before! These are just few of the nation's reactions to the Financial Budget for the year 2009 presented by Mr. Pranab Mukherjee.
So what does it mean to you? After all, budgets come & go every year. Well, you will be surprised how much a budget effects your life in ways you never thought it can. To put it in better prespective, Satanputr presents a not-so-commonplace interpretation.
1. To the 2 year toddler: Don't you worry baby, your days to worry about all this are a long way ahead.
2. To the 14 year old girl who wants to be a teen diva: Chill sweet heart. Don't worry about your mum catching you trying out her cosmetics. They don't burn that big a hole anymore.
3. To the 16 year old class topper with those geeky spectacles: All your persuasion to get your dad to buy you contacts went down the drain. They just got dearer.
4. To the 19 year old college freshie : Get your dad to fund your education on a loan. That way you not only save his money now, you also give him more tax cuts on your loan.
5. To the 21 year old "Baap ka maal" dude: Time to ask your dad to pay for those new K&N filters and titanium spark plugs for your car. Your dad just got lucky and saved some major rookda!
6. To the 25 year old IT employee: All that money your company was paying as taxes on your perks will now have to be paid by you mister. That means your perks worth 4 lakhs will attract nearly just as much tax as your 4 lakh CTC
7. To the 28 year old "I live by the To-Do List" guy: Time to get your car for which you have been saving for long.
8. To the 30 year old stock broker on Dalal Street: You just had a BAD field day yesterday man. Rest for a while.
9. To the 32 year old Mutual Fund player: Keep your fingers crossed. All those people savings might just come your way.
10. To the 34 year old nagging TV soaps' devotee: Your husband is never going to get that Set Top box for you now. muhahahaha
11. To the 37 year old unemployed youth in "Bharat ka Khoya hua Gaon": Lady luck finally smiled. You just got a gaurantee for a job.
12. To the 43 year old farmer in West Godavari: Smile my friend, the interest levels have come down to the earth you till.
13. To the 48 year old corporate lawyer in South Delhi: All the money you squeeze from your clients shall now be squeezed from you.
14. To the 52 year old scientist at ISRO: File those forms for getting that new simulation software you have been lobbying for so long. Your director just got a huge nod when he asked for money.
15. To the 56 year old defence broker in Israel: Loads of money and military orders from India coming your way. Gear up!
16. To the 62 year old uncle in the neighborhood: You toiled hard all your life. So smile, relax and enjoy with your kids and theirs.
So what does it mean to you? After all, budgets come & go every year. Well, you will be surprised how much a budget effects your life in ways you never thought it can. To put it in better prespective, Satanputr presents a not-so-commonplace interpretation.
1. To the 2 year toddler: Don't you worry baby, your days to worry about all this are a long way ahead.
2. To the 14 year old girl who wants to be a teen diva: Chill sweet heart. Don't worry about your mum catching you trying out her cosmetics. They don't burn that big a hole anymore.
3. To the 16 year old class topper with those geeky spectacles: All your persuasion to get your dad to buy you contacts went down the drain. They just got dearer.
4. To the 19 year old college freshie : Get your dad to fund your education on a loan. That way you not only save his money now, you also give him more tax cuts on your loan.
5. To the 21 year old "Baap ka maal" dude: Time to ask your dad to pay for those new K&N filters and titanium spark plugs for your car. Your dad just got lucky and saved some major rookda!
6. To the 25 year old IT employee: All that money your company was paying as taxes on your perks will now have to be paid by you mister. That means your perks worth 4 lakhs will attract nearly just as much tax as your 4 lakh CTC
7. To the 28 year old "I live by the To-Do List" guy: Time to get your car for which you have been saving for long.
8. To the 30 year old stock broker on Dalal Street: You just had a BAD field day yesterday man. Rest for a while.
9. To the 32 year old Mutual Fund player: Keep your fingers crossed. All those people savings might just come your way.
10. To the 34 year old nagging TV soaps' devotee: Your husband is never going to get that Set Top box for you now. muhahahaha
11. To the 37 year old unemployed youth in "Bharat ka Khoya hua Gaon": Lady luck finally smiled. You just got a gaurantee for a job.
12. To the 43 year old farmer in West Godavari: Smile my friend, the interest levels have come down to the earth you till.
13. To the 48 year old corporate lawyer in South Delhi: All the money you squeeze from your clients shall now be squeezed from you.
14. To the 52 year old scientist at ISRO: File those forms for getting that new simulation software you have been lobbying for so long. Your director just got a huge nod when he asked for money.
15. To the 56 year old defence broker in Israel: Loads of money and military orders from India coming your way. Gear up!
16. To the 62 year old uncle in the neighborhood: You toiled hard all your life. So smile, relax and enjoy with your kids and theirs.
And yeah not to forget!
To Y.S.Rajashekar Reddy in Hyderabad: You walked the entire state in the sweltering heat of the summer sun on foot and managed to send 33 Congress candidates as MPs to the parliment. That is the single largest consignment from one party from one state. In return, your ministers get one cabinet post and one MoS post. Andhra Pradesh slipped out of the Railway Minister's mind when she made her budget. And all those pats you got on the back for your ambitious & commendable irrigation projects were merely gestures of pity over your naiveness. The Finance Minister too conveniently gave AP a miss. Please wake up and try something called "Lobbying"
To Y.S.Rajashekar Reddy in Hyderabad: You walked the entire state in the sweltering heat of the summer sun on foot and managed to send 33 Congress candidates as MPs to the parliment. That is the single largest consignment from one party from one state. In return, your ministers get one cabinet post and one MoS post. Andhra Pradesh slipped out of the Railway Minister's mind when she made her budget. And all those pats you got on the back for your ambitious & commendable irrigation projects were merely gestures of pity over your naiveness. The Finance Minister too conveniently gave AP a miss. Please wake up and try something called "Lobbying"
5 comments:
Interesting perspective on the budget. Like the blog, especially its tone! :)
Thnq Soumya....
dis big article 2 much 2 read so dis is my 2nd comment so come wid short articles plzzzzz :P
Nice one! I never actually went through the real budget, your post did the job :)
thanx ratpik
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